So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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