Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize