Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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