you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Enjoy the penises
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
