Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
