Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
