u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
