I didn't shave. On purpose
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
