Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
