why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
don't judge my taste in strippers
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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