i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
