Plan B is the new Plan A
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my shit smells like andre
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
