Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
