Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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