Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
