Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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