Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
