Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
