Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
