I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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