where am i from again
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
