Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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