Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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