All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
