Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
