Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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