hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
