It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We need to get me chipped asap
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
