It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
