we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize