He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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