I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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