We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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