Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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