So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
