i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
