why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
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