We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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