what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
