I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
