I'm drive I can fine osifer
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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