I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
