i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
