Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
