She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
