On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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