my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
