im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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