My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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