their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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