Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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