The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
there is glitter all over my balls
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
