You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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