is wine microwaveable?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
