Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
