what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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