if i can run in heels then i can drive
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize