Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
