Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
