I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I could fuck to npr.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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