I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize