I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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