: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
